"I will NOT have interface with your girlfriend."
- Dens to Grellan, crashing Elle @ Delancey. (12/9)

"And i want skis for Xmas. i've been riding the same skis for 7 or 8 years. Sure, nothing in comparison to mom, but skis have changed over the years, especially with the advent of the internet."
- excerpt from Jonathan's christmas list. (12/5)

"It's only one bag, sir."
- Big, burly bouncer to Sir Grellan as he attempted to walk out of the Gotham mag party double-fisting giftbags. (11/17)

"You could set that kid up with a hooker and he'd find some way to break up with her."
- DPS, spitting jacuzzi wisdom in VT. (11/14)

"She's more of the fashion / rock star crowd - you're more of the perl-script crowd."
- Grazillian over Bowery Poetry (11/03)

"Man campaigned through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side."
- Rob Moore, on the incredible dedication of one MF, superstar political campaign manager. (11/1)

"Why won't my goddamn spam filter work!"
- Grellan, after getting an invite to watch the Sox/Yanks playoffs in Brooklyn. (10/12)

"Fucking friend requests."
- Me, talking in my sleep (or so says Karen). (10/11)

"You got anything else?"
- Kevin (in ConQwest HQ) after I queued up Peaches' "Fuck the Pain Away" in front of the client. (I countered with a little "Rock You Like a Hurricane!") (10/9)

"It's time for a little Mountain and Lion."
- Frank after I admitted my lust for one of the ConQwest hired hands (aka Mountain Lion #2). (10/8)

"It's not really art til somebody's bleeding."
- Megan on her thesis project and NYU's policy on "human experimentation" (9/15)

"Er, [insert name here] even said that it looked like this guy was going to lick me.... super scary"
- anonymous student on their favorite prof. (9/7)

"Your cat is AWOL.  I let it in Saturday morning and it went out  Saturday night, I haven't seen it since."
- random email I received. Five mins later I got a "Sorry, wrong Dennis" follow-up. (8/10)

"Hey I spent $1.00 to buy the Wall Street and all I see is your hand on the page no mention of your name."
- Email from sweet sweet grandmother after the WSJ article. (8/2)

"I rescued your friend from the bathroom earlier. She got locked in. I got her out, though."
- Andy to kind-of-cute-girl, claiming my heroic efforts as his own (bastard!). (7/28)

"I gotta use the iBathroom so iBadly! iHurry up, iPeople!"
- Grellan to the iPod kids (also not sure why this was so funny). (7/22)

"Just kill yourself if you're a Red Sox fan."
- advice from some guy standing at a Yankee Stadium urinal. (6/29)

"Hi. Shh. It's nap."
"What are you doing tomorrow form 8 to 9?"
"Dear Becca... (snore)"
Me: "Dennis you're passed out across my bed again."
You: "Yes, that's true."
- notes from Becca regarding the last time i passed out on her bed. (7/28)

Jackie: "We all have to be together. Pretty soon I could be in London, Jill and Steve could be in San Francisco, Dennis could be... on the moon".
Dennis: "Hey, if anyone is around, I am on the moon. Pass the Lunar Lager."
- I made a note to myself that this was funny back in June (it doesn't seem so funny now, but whatever). (6/28)

"My check-in expired after 3 hours so I decided to re-install 12"
- says Jessica in a saucy English accent. (6/23)

"Let's flashmob the joint!!"
- Andy, after giving him a head's up that NPR was going to be following around Team Dodgeball for a night. (6/18)

"It's like eating a painting."
- Gabe, after some guy asked him why he didn't eat the his burger-replica birthday cake. (someone needs to send me a pic of the cake!) (6/9)

"Have you ever had fish tacos?"
"No, i don't eat fish... but I'll eat them if I'm drunk!"
- Little Sister Katie during her brief stint in NYC this summer. (6/7)

"Somehow, looking at the pictures, I imagine the guy who plays PacMan has a hard time getting dates."
- from the Slashdot piece on PacManhattan. (5/2)

"I love that the difference between 'gambling' and 'not gambling' is Swedish fish."
- Becca's commentary on 12" casino night. (6/8)

"Flash forward to the future when the cover says, "Dodgeball: Why It Matters 60 Years Later."
- Krucoff, after seeing the Time Magazine piece. (5/25)

"Tastes like my college radio show."
"Tastes like New Years 1997."
- Various feedback after experiencing the sweet sweet taste of nolstagia that only a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 can provide. (5/20)

dpcrowley: make $$$$$$$$$$$$ you can't eat newspapers"
- My dad, after reading the dodgeball piece in the NY Times. (5/13)

dervala: Mark smith says you jumped the shark.
- Random IM banter after the PacManhattan Sunday Styles piece came out in the NY Times. (5/11)

"I really hate the shit out of you."
- Steve Simmons spoofing fake text messages and stressing me out. (5/2)

"She's cute like a kitten... a weird looking kitten."
- Rob, post-Opening Day. (4/16)

"I GOT A LIGHT SKINNED FRIEND LOOK LIKE DENS CROWLEY, GOT A DARK SKINNED FRIEND LOOK LIKE DENS CROWLEY"
- Lattistar, after seeing the "Friendster for your mobile phone. Plus: Kanye West" headline in the Trendsetters newsletter. (4/15)

"Doing parkour is not a great way to meet girls."
- Closing line from an article on freetyle walking article found in the NYTimes. (3/30)

"Kiss her!"
- Rob Moore, yelling down from the chairlift after two high school girls on skis collided. (3/14)

"I shot a dog!"
Sweet Sweet Laura, misreading the "You Shot a Doe!" screen in Big Buck Hunter. (3/14)

"It all started when i stared imitating a russian exchange student..."
- Random guy at bar some bar at Okemo (VT) chattign up Jay and I about how he got kicked out of NYU. (3/9)

Me: "It's gotta be one of those houses."
Shuttle bus driver: "That's one house, pal."
- Me, upon arriving at the mansion at Beaver Creek. (2/24)

"What type of dog is it?"
"I dunno, a brown one?"
- Me to Jay, about Alex's dog. (3/7)

"Is that Blue Steel?"
- Jon Marcel, after catching a glimpse of my NYU ID mugshot at 8 Mile Creek. (2/26)

"New Media Art History is... history!"
- Gordie after dropping my last class of the semester

"... just like the good old days in Santa's Vllage or wherever you lived."
- Greggy Poo Poo reminscing about the good old days in NH. (3/4)

"However, you may not be as fizzucked as it may appear... "
- First line of a customer service reply from the nice folk at Dreamhost. (3/4)

"What abou the TCP/IP Drinking Game? 'How well do you know your stacks'?!"
- Overheard from one of the dorks at the Emerging Technology conference in San Diego. (2/7)

Dens: "Did I miss that?"
Randy: "No you were there."
Dens: "Huh"
- Post-game commentary about Tully's freestyle and the overall blackout-drunk vibe at Battjer's party.

"I do naughty things when my parents arent around. I set up a website so you can login and watch me play with myself."
- Text from a filthy spam message. (2/22)

"saw sock ont he door... didn't want to walk in"
- Text-message from Marcel received mid-presentation rehersal, after we pulled the old "sock on the door" trick with our hotel room. (2/11)

battjer: did you mean to invite me into chat with a random girl in sweden last night?
- what happens when iChat goes crazy. (2/9)

"Mike, do you smoke??? I certainly hope not.  It's so bad for your health."
- Email from Mike.d's sister after this very quoteboard ratted out his smoking habit. (2/5)

"Walking up to strangers and introducing yourself is the new Friendster."
- Wisdown from Andy Krucoff

"What if you get stuck with a 5th... the way we got Giselda-ed?"
- Alex to Karen, coining phrases and explaining the guesswork of ITP group work. (1/29)

"OH, for a horse with wings!"
- Overheard at 125 Stanton as my roommate rehearses her lines. (1/27)

"andy stuck his hand down my mac!"
- Randy, via text message, after The Krucoff Debaucle(tm) @ Lolita. (1/25)

"DO NOT GO TO KARAOKE!"
- Note-to-self scribbled on Manlio's hand, in the early stages of an ITP Thurs Night Out. (1/22)

"Roll the other way, sir."
- Cop to my dad after he tried to "climb" over a fence at the Patriots AFC Championship game. (1/18)

"Come'on Brains!"
- Mike Sharon, cheering on the mispronounced Boston Bruins. (1/15)

"Difficulty getting accounting department to understand why rover has to be able to bounce up and down while playing "Rollout (My Business)" by Ludacris"
- The Onion, theorizing on the pre-launch challenges facing the Mars rover missions. (1/15)

"I can't see Mike D smoking... he'd light himself on fire."
- My mom, after Jonathan ratted out Mike D for smoking in our driveway. (1/12)

"What the FUCK is that, dawg?"
- Big Guy @ Pats/ Tennessee playoff game after spotting Jonathan's blinged out Boston Red Sox pendant. (1/10)

"Talk to me when you and your Mr. T starter-kit win a world series."
- Same guy after we started giving him shit for being a Pats fan and a Yankees fan. (1/10)

Note: Also see last year's Quoteboard 2003