Note: Also see this year's Quoteboard 2004

"Can someone tell me how the robots do that?"
- Overheard at some random townie bar deep in the woods of NH (12/29)

"What's the new thing that the kids are doing? Hooking up?"
- My mom, all down with the MTV. (12/22)

"I got guns, I got n******, and I got guns."
- Some 50 cent look-alike, threatening (?) La Boomer after she dismissed his thug pickup lines. (12/18)

"Say, have you girls been to Venezuela?"
- Andy Krucoff to a table of girls at Barramundi, quickly changing the subject after they figured out that we really didn't graduate from Harvard. (12/14)

"Uppies, upskirts, anything up will do."
- Dannielle, discussing the finer points of camera phone photography. (@ AK's holiday party, 12/13)

"I'm all about skinny girls but [she's] way way way too skinny, and believe me, I like the waifs."
- Ah, MF. God bless this kid. (12/1)

"Want to buy it back?"
- Says the homeless guy who Mike.d generously donated a can of Red Dog to... but only after we walked by him a second time (and I bet Mike that he wouldn't remember Mike'd do-gooder deed). (11/29)

"Look, the whole family is networking together. Weeeeeee!"
- My dad, as we're all huddled around the wi-fi hub over Thanksgiving. (11/29)

"... and by the way, you're a fabulous dancer."
- MF re-telling his story about some girl that tried to pick him up at a bar in DC. (11/26)

"High five. Hot dog."
- Stacey, getting all Digital Kids on us. (11/25)

"Stop... don't stop."
- Mel's friend Diana after I started teasing her on her desire not to stray tooooo far from Grellan's apt. (11/22)

"Tali just came up to us and started freelancing."
- KB retelling Thursday Night Out(tm) tales of ITPers and their freestyle rapping skillz. (11/20)

"You like my lingo? I know what the kids talk like."
- ITP Game Theory prof, Steven Johnson, after suggesting that characters in The Sims should be able to spark up the bong. (11/19)

"Your new girlfriend is super skanky and your stock just plummeted. I would no longer want to have you on a bed chicken cutlets, even if doused in guacamole."
- KB's anonymous note to her no-good, cheating, fantasy boyfriend. (11/19)

"Who does autographs? It's make out or nothing."
- Jill, after I asked her if she left with any autographs after bumping into the cast of The OC at some party in LA. (11/18)

"That's easy. Blackout drunk is when you don't remember anything, brownout drunk is when you really wish you couldn't."
- KB's friend's take on the difference between 'blackout' and 'brownout' drunk. (11/11)

dpstyles97 has entered the chat room.
unmonoloco has entered the chat room.
SuperKBKB has entered the chat room.
BoomerCB has entered the chat room.
unmonoloco: VOLTRON!
unmonoloco: I'll make the head
- Random IM banter. (11/10)

"Sometimes in life you need to cowboy up and eat the whole goddamned crab rangoon."
- Meghan, stepping up alongside just like the Red Sox during the taxing playoff postseason. (10/14)

"Dont tell ME how to get laid kid.. Andrew you dunno.."
- Subject line of the type of extremely targeted email that's showing up in Andy's inbox. (9/30)

"Right into the crusher."
- Tow truck driver that took away Goldie at the end of the summer in response to Andy's inquisitive, "What do they do with a car like this?" (9/29)

dpstylesMTV: no more than 4 drinks a night
dpstylesMTV: my new limit
unmonoloco: do they rollover?
- Alex, finding loopholes in my new strategy to turn my life around. (9/21)

"I thought you were the fencing guy."
- Dayna, confusing me with that other ITP olympian (@ Hi-Fi, 9/20)

[Nimoy walks into class 10 minutes late]
Tom: And look who's the first ghost of the semester!
Nimoy: I disagree.
Tom: Oh really.
- A report back from the first week of fall 2003 classes @ ITP. (9/7)

"Dick is the new tit."
- Randy on the lack of scandalous teendrama content (well, compared to dynatrite.com at least). (8/21)

"It smells like Vipul in here."
- Me, sitting across from Dannielle and her $50 bottle of Glenfiddich Single Malt, Catskills style. (8/16)

"I don't know why dad doesn't just buy the house behind us and tear it down."
- My mom, distressed that we now have neighbors thanks to the new development that was built behind our house. (8/9)

"... and grellanharty.com ... licks her cheek, winks at the camera, and lets another piece of tail slip through his fingers."
Randy, on Grellan's inability to capitalize on the queue of cute girls just waiting to move into 125 Stanton Street. (5/28)

"Josh looks more like a Dr. Gorgeous."
- My mom, all up in Josh Levine's business after checking out the pics from Rachel's bday. (2/1)

LouisvilleTre: perhaps you would be more comfortable at our <insert girl's name here> table?"
- Smart ass Grellan talking shit about stealing my cute internet girlfriend, sticking me with <insert girl's name here, again> (8/4)

"Do you race? Like, drag race?"
- High school kid, trying to pick a race with me as I walked down Avenue A late night. (8/1)

"What happened to the girl?"
- Dan.O on the sudden disappearance of Giselle's photo from our Microsoft presentation. (7/28)

"What are you studying? Cute-ology?"
- Overhead while discussing friendster pickup lines. (7/11)

"SUMMER 2003'S 'HOTTEST' BRAND: Hipsters Badly Burned as Rheingold Mobile Bursts into Flames on FDR"
- The Ad Age headline that would-have-been had Krucoff sold Goldie to the Rheingold marketing machine. (7/9)

Rob: "Stella, the champaign of beer..."
Jill: "...or more like the Bud Light of Belgium."
- Bodega bickering, outside of Ilana's apt. (7/4)

"PS: my fortune cookie last night said: 'General Tso and you. BFF'"
- Argobot's future, via email. (7/1)

"That byrd is high maintenance"
- Grellan on Goldie, post-breakdown. (6/28)

"She's got the spices and the juices and the shit."
Lt. Moore, reminiscing on girlfriends past. (6/21)

"Faggity motherfuckers - go back to your suburbs!"
- Drunk patron at some random bar in Philly after we left because they were no longer serving sandwiches. (6/21)

Fantasy Comeback: "I am in the suburbs... the suburbs of New York City, bitch!" (please note, those acting on fantasy comebacks are subject to stabbing)

"Engine trouble?"
- Gabe, picking fights with a handful of tough-guy kids after their car broke down half a block past the spot where they exchanged words with Karen after almost running her over. (6/13)

"Computer, how do I get inside you?!?"
- Jill, mocking my desire to be one with the machine (and have a robot leg that makes me run faster). (6/8)

"Eeewww. Excuse yourself!"
- Heard from gaggle of girl-scout aged girls as Alex let out the burb of the millennium while we were leaving ESPN Sports Zone. (6/3)

"That girl loves the buck."
- Overheard at 7B as a table of onlookers watched Karen rip it up during one of our head-to-head buck hunter tourneys. (6/2)

"Christine, you have real quality friends."
- Overheard at 9th Street Bar after I asked La Boomer's out of town guest if she had made out with her PhD advisor. (5/29)

Jay: "50 Cent's been shot at 9 times."
Mom: "When are they going to hit him?"
- Overheard during the car ride over to another Crowley Family Dinner(tm) at Bertucci's. (5/18)

"Win a bender! We pull your name, you drink free for a week!"
- A flyer that speaks to us all... seen at Micky's Blue Room. (5/16)

"My watch blinks whenever Jesus is nearby."
- My response to Karen's inquisitive look at my glowing watch one night @ Micky's Blue Room. (5/16)

"This sounds interesting. but will it feature love, war, swords, sheep, a wooden horse, family, romance and death???"
- Krucoff's plagiarized response to my invite to ITP's Spring Show. (5/11)

"What house?"
"unsubscribe."
"dog balls"
- A trifecta of replies to Krucoff's email demanding cash NOW for our upcoming summer house. (5/8)

"An alternative section that features the Cranberries? Who is in charge over there? Ned Flanders?"
- Overheard on 'the internet' in a discussion about the lack of selection in Apple's new iTunes store. (4/28)

"Can't robots just get along? I mean, we make these robots and all we have them do is fight each other?"
Mathias, randomly in the ITP lounge. (4/25)

unmonoloco: I think you could lay the Knight Rider theme behind cows mooing and it would sound ill
- Random IM banter. (4/22)

"It's almost as if the Lord himself is DJing for us right now.
Me, commenting on the slamming back-to-back-to-back hip-hop tracks heard on 94.5 as we raced to church on Easter Sunday.

Cashier: "Is Dennis in a band or something?"
Rob: "No, he's in grad school in New York."
Cashier: "Then what's up with his haircut?"
- Overheard at my hometown liquor store. (4/19)

"Speaking of which... no lapdances!"
- A little parting wisdom from Mrs. Moore to her son Paul. (4/18)

"Pace yourself kid, cause late night is winning time."
- Grellan's next-day movie line wisdom in reference to letting two cuties slip through our too-drunk fingers @ McNasty's. (4/7)

"Mom and Dad left when they started flipping tables at Darwin's"
- Little Sister Katie, on the cellular, reporting on my parents' quick exit from the Syracuse bars when riots broke out after SU beat Texas, earning them a bid the NCAA championship game. (4/6)

"Hey Big Dig - give us the keys to your car so we can flip it!"
- Jonthan's old roommate Will, upon running into my parents during their escape from post-Final Four riots. (4/6)

"I'm a big fan of Laurie's work"
- Krucoff, after we unexpectedly walked into a poetry slam at Filthy McNasty's of all places (3/25)

"I heard it's called OpenGL."
- Dugan dishing our tech geek gossip @ the Torch Club (and yes, I realize it makes no sense taken out of context). (3/25)

"We know who's going to win this game, can we just put the basketball game back on?"
- Overheard at some midtown bar as CBS put college basketball on hold in favor of "continuous war coverage". (3/21)

"I am the commanding officer of my own desk. I get underway in 48 hours."
- The Lt. after MF's "hey - when do you ship out to war? oh wait, you have a desk job!" remark. (3/19)

"Come'on! Act like you've seen free beer before!"
- Grellan, on my double-fisting tendencies at the Ms. Rhenigold crowning. (3/10)

"Don't hate us because we're skinny."
- AK, to two "big-boned" girls after they were giving me shit for being too short (again, at the Ms. Rheingold crowning)

"Oh - I want to shoot you sooo bad!"
- Alex, staring down a lone doe during a round of Big Buck Hunter @ ACE Bar. (3/7)

"Regrettably we can only consider resumes from individuals in the exact industries and with the credentials that we have outlined. We are NOT able to accept resumes from individuals formerly or currently employed in dot com or telecom ventures."
- Bad news for the dot com kids, as seen in a HotJobs posting (3/2)

"Nina: "So, what are you guys talking about?"
Me, AK & Gibs (all at the same time): "Robots."
- Overheard @ Nina's Chinese New Years party (1/31)

"Sorry, but the failed dot-com look says neither kitschy nor ironic. It says 'failed dot-com.'"
- A little fashion advice from our friends at Daily Candy. (1/22)

"i guess i'll be staying on my side of houston from now on. you kids fight it out over there. "
- Heather.D, via email, on the rumors that the l.e.s. is becoming more dangerous due to hipster backlash (1/21)

"It was a sure-thing to begin with... you could have been wearing a Patriots jersey!"
- MF, commenting on Rob and his New Year Eve's special friend. (1/16)

naptownk: it's not ham of god!!!! it's lamb of god!!!!
- Little Ms. Molly, busting on the Crowley Family for serving up ham at Easter. (1/14)

"I HATE CATS"
- Random, out-of-the-blue email from my grandmother. (1/4)

" In Soviet Russia, the foosball table mods YOU!"
- Some of the, er, kinder feedback on Slashdot regarding my ITP Foosball Table (1/2)

"Note to self: don't ask girls if they're strippers"
- Rob, on my conversation with everyone's favorite calendar girl. (1/1)


Note: Also see last year's Quoteboard 2002