"By the end of the summer I'm going to be experienced! - GRUNT!"
- Eric Deschamps
"Yeah I know you're the premiere lesbian nightclub in New York City, but I figured a bunch of dykes would like to see a fight like that"
- Matt Melton while calling around looking for a bar that had the Tyson fight
"Out of the way, white boy!"
- Crazed bicyclist bitch to Deschamps
"I think Mike [Jackson] would be pretty clean"
- Eric Deschamps in response to the question, "What man would you have sex with if you were forced to?"
"What does she look like?"
"She's not hot."
- Dave Cutler when asked about his woman
"Why are there detectives looking for our Italian roommate?"
- Ted while eating soup with Dennis
"Which Amy?"
- Eric Deschamps questioning who may be at the Guster show
"No... What the fuck are you guys doing drinking 40s?"
- Eric Deschamps to Newman and Crowley after being asked if he wanted a 40 at 2:00 on random Saturaday
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Disco."
"Disco who?"
"Disco goes in your mouth at the gang bang!"
- Bleacher chant at the Yankees game
Anything that happens to concern a "lyrical pizza" is pretty funny
"For $8.75 they better rebuild that thing."
- Dennis at the 3:00am showing of Contact
"She said she wouldn't do anything, so Saturday night I just jumped on her"
- Cutler explaining his Penn State adventures