Wednesday September 12, 2007

20 Hours in Ocean City (aka Randy's bachelor party!)


Hey! Did you know Randy is getting married in September? (wedding #5 of the season, btw!). Last weekend A thousand weekends ago (8/25!) a crew of us got together and made a raodtrip down to Ocean City, MD in celebration of his last days of singlehoodness (Is that a word? Should be. BTW, bachelor party #3 of the summer!)


The adventure starts early Saturday morning (8:30! Tribeca!). The lovely Lisa.S made us some Danish pancake balls ("aebelskivers") and some mf'ng sausages (if you've got an escargot pan aebelskiver pan try making them at home. And if you're awesome - like I'm going to be when I get ane of these little pans - then make those lil' pancake balls and fill 'em with powerdered sugar and bits of bacon and syrup and, oh man, sounds delicious, no?!?)

Anyway, oh yeah MD - we set sail in two cars around 9am... and... with... all... the... traffic... got there aroud 3pm (an hour of that is my fault for missig *one stoopid turn* off the highway which cost us about an hour. Ugh.)

Before we left, Randy laid out a selection of fine men's attire for us to choose from. Here (well, above) all of us (sans Carney) looking like the hottest douchebags you've ever done seen. This was taken with Josh's magical camera which is why it looks phenomenal.


In case you needed better lighting, we moved to the deck. As you may have noticed I got a haircut for J's wedding which looks like a stoopid Lego Person's haircut. Stoopid Astor Place.




We had a half-plan for the night... around 5pm we made the trek to the boardwalk, nine dudes crammed into a minivan cab.


First stop = the first place we could find that was serving up drinks.

First round = half a server's tray worth of Miami Vices (pour a little out for Bartender Steve), and half Pain in the Ass (I didn't know what they were either).

After about 20 mins of being in these stoopid shirts, we decided the only was to justify wearing them was to create a little ad hoc game which revolves around trying to get pretty girls to pose alongside us while wearing the shirts. Each girl = +1 point. Sounds bachelorette party-esque, but hey, it's Randy's special day (and it's Ocean City YEAH!) so we'll go with it.


I scored first with our sweet sweet waitress. Dens +1


Then we hit up some dinner. While queueing up for All You Can Eat Seafood, Grell scored with the 17 year old hostess. Grellan +1

(Really? No lucking getting us seated in the haunted dining room? What gives?!)


All You Can Eat seafood = delicious at first, Bad Idea Jeans 90 mins afterwards.


You know, MD is more of a crab town and I'm more of a lobster person. I had some mussels, some mac + cheese (yeah!), some crab legs, crab cakes, friend crab things, prime rib, roast turkey, pretty much everything...


And by the the time we finished up were reeking of crab. Nasty. We walked it off a bit...


... down the main strip, past all thees hotels who apparently hate fun. (NO SLOTS IN MARYLAND PERIOD!)


Looks like MD is kind of in the shitter with a tax deficit. The state's masterplan is to drop some slots on the place to fix things up. The locals are pretty anti. We stayed out of it.


Actually, maybe we're more split down the middle.

Oh, so we eventually got sick of walking and caught the OC/MD bus for $2 bucks. Destination: Seacrets - the nastiest, frattiest, MTV beach house-esque place on the strip (or so say AK + Randy who spent their high school years trying to sneak in).

So try to picture nine dudes dressed in stoopid shirts and reeking of crab rolling into this trying-to-be-VIP club. Now picture the fratboy bouncers outside playing gatekeeper. Needless to say, we didn't get in... what stings the most is that I was the one who got negged (!!) because my shorts were too long!


What!?! Too long?! Well, according to their dress code, "No extra long shorts (that are below middle of calf)" - and to be fair, these shorts that JJ gave me for my birthday *were* a little too long, but come'on, we're not troublemakers, we're just here to have a good time! Which is what Carney tried to explain this to them.. (meanwhile, I'm trying to borrow a pen or scissors so I can cut off the part of my shorts that are too-long)

Carney: "Come'on, it's our buddy's bachelor party. We're down from NYC, just tyring to have a good time..."
Bouncer: "Yeah, well I don't know how you wear your shorts in NYC, but we're in Ocean City now."
Carney: "Um, yeah, but your shorts are just as long..."

... and then Krucoff busts in with a "Fuck this place - we don't want to go here anyway!". To which the bouncer replies to us "You can tell your buddy here he's not getting in no matter what happens".

And so me and my long pants and everyone else just ended up taking off. Not a huge deal as there's 100 other places just like this one on the strip. We ended up next door (Feggens? Macky's?) where the dress code was a little looser.


I hiked up my pants just in case.


Crotch of my pants is so jammed up into my nuts it hurts.


So, we sat outside and had some drinks (more Miami Vices). I look like I'm on drugz in this photo.

Annddddd... let the game continue. Every pic with a beautiful woman = +1 point.


AK +1


Carney +1


Dens +1


Grell +1


Kevin.K +1


Carney +1


Dens +1


Kevin.K +1


Dens +1


Kevin.K +1


Dens +1


Dens +1


Dens +4

... you know, I'm not even going to bother to add these up. Gents, we should all be embarassed of these pix.

Late night = we caught a cab back to Randy's place...


Grellan queued up the Mike's Margarita vs. Miller Chill challenge. Nobody won.


Carney threatened to cut me.


Randy farted.

And is that it? Fast forward a few hours - we were packed up + cleaned up + out of there by 12pm.


Hit up a Friendly's in Deleware for some mf'ing Waffle Fries, Fribbles and Supermelts.


... and back in the city by 6pm. ps: this pic = seen in the Friendly's men's room. A supermelt peaking out from behing a New England barn. For real? WTF!

Haven't had enough?
+ Josh (Fickr)
+ Grell (Flickr
+ Randy (Flickr
+ Dens (Flickr

Wed 9/12 @ 1:38 AM | # link| Comments (1)
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