600 mile double-header weekened: Sara + Stephen's wedding in VA + lobster cookout back in MA
Friends, hello! And welcome to yet another wedding recap (this time Sara + Stephen of DC!). But wait, that's not all, scroll down and you get *special bonus footage* of the lobster cookout at Mom + Dad's back in Medway!
Let's start with Sara + Stephen. Sara = friend from high school. Stephen you would have recognized from Mike.D + JC wedding recap had my laptop + photos not been stolen). And yes, this is wedding recap #3 (of 5!) this summer. So let's rewind a little - back to July 21. Wedding was all the way down in Richmond, VA so I split the trip in two and trained it down to DC on Friday night to meet up with Lt. Rob.
Hey, speaking of which, here's the Lt. holding a picture of himself with the bride to be! Apparently taken a long time ago... what, 1993... aka, back when Rob had hair. Hahahah!
And speaking of good 'ol Rob (again), he just fwd'ed me this. And while GI Joe has no business making an appearance in a Sara + Stephen wedding recap, can Cutter be any more of a rip off of the Rob M. brand??? (even down to the "Lt JG" status! - come'on!)
Oh, see? NYC -> DC. Thanks Google maps! ps: Amtrak is such a joke. Like $170 one-way to DC.
Masterplan = grab some dinner in DC, maybe a drink or two and get to bed early so we can get up at 8am for the two hour drive drive to VA. Like idiots, we went out pretty hard - staying out till what, 4am? - after pounding drinks at The Big Hunt (fratty!) and Science Club (classy!) - where we ran into Rob B from Syracuse (who I just noticed writes for DCist, a spin-off of Gothamist which is run by my friend Jake.D - small world city!)
Where was I? Oh yeah, 4am. Stoopid. We got up at 7-something to drive down to Richmond...
... which doesn't look so far on the map, but thanks to beltway traffic - traffic @ 2am on a Saturday - took a good 3 hours.
Does anyone really need a truck this big? Seriously, four wheels in back? And it wasn't scratched up or anything so I doubt its used to haul anything. Oh, and there were a pair of those plastic nuts (as in testicles) hanging off the tow-hook in the back. Classy.
Where are we again? Sorry, severe ADD while typing this up - oh, we drove down early early early so we could grab lunch with *Corey Schroeder* (another old Medway friend) who lives in Richmond. (That awkward pose of mine reminds me of this, btw.) Oh, we dined on breakfast burritos at a place called Starlite. They were delicious.
And then we checked ourself into the Omni in downtown Richmond (fancy! but good 'ol Rob gets a military discount!). Thanks to a Friday night bender + three hours of traffic, all we wanted to do was take a nap but the *grown ups* in the room next door where hoot-hoot-hollering up a storm. When the cackling woke me, I video'ed it as to preseve the absurdity of the situation. Shut up!
ps: Rob = not napping as he got sucked into the new(est) HP book... which he scored in the hotel lobby gift shop of all places after ever other shop in DC + Richmond (hello cute bookstore girl!) were 800x sold out.
Fast forward a little bit and here we are all fancied up in the Omni elevator. Look at that brass shine! I'm also apparetly pocked-sized.
Met up w/ Sara + Stephen in the lobby and then cabbed it on over to the reception (10 mins away). By the way, worth mentioning that Sara + Stephen actually got married a week or so earlier. On a cruise. To Alaska! Since not everyone could go (me = at Jill + Steve's wedding) they had the reception a few weeks later back in Virgina. That's why you don't see any wedding pics here - though you do get to see Sara all dolled up in a wedding dress (sssh - wait!)
Reception was held at an art gallery just south of the river (which river = no idea). I was at lucky table 7. And oops, forgot to bring a guest. Huh.
Fast forward again... first dance! (can't remember the song either - wasn't Ante Up tho. Someday!)
The reception was catered by some of Stephen's friends - the fried chicken with hot sauce = legendary (I may have have 5+ pieces. Sorry for not remembering your name girl-in-the-background, but you do live in the Hamptons year round which I thought was kind of cool.
A little mingling with the guests... (Mom, who does this look like?)
... some fish face contests...
... some posing it up with the Medway kids (why, hello there Katie + Scott!).
Man, I really kind of fast-forwarded through these pics - I actually don't have too many photos from the reception (Though I wish wish wish I had that video of Stephen's Dad getting his James Brown on). No worries - most of the action was at the after-party anyway. For now, lemme show you the end result of assembling 800 people together for a group photo (or, just watch The Making Of footage)
And then, um, on the way out, I, er, accidentally drop-kicked Rob's phone into two pieces (sorry, man. And for all those karma-believers, my phone busted two weeks later at J's bachelor party).
Annnndd in case you couldn't tell, this is where it starts getting rowdy btw. Next up = a barefoot footrace through the glass covered parking lot (actually a re-do of the race Rob and I had the night earlier - ps: he smoked me). This time around - me in shoes, Rob in socks... I got smoked again! That kid is like lightning!
Next stop = the club scene of downtown Richmond, VA. We ended up at some booming discotheque called The Tobacco Company which had, among other things...
.. blackjack tables! (all for charity, me thinks). BTW, you can smoke all you want in these Richmond bars - these people live like animals!
There was some dance party, some almost-but-accidental upskirt shots...
... and some forever-lasting friendships being forged.
And then late night the town's local male stripper showed up (I kid you not - one of the girls we were with recognized him as if it was no big deal... "and there's Jimmy again!"). Watch this kid get his mf'mg *FREAK* on. That's how they do things down here in the Richmond.
Some super splitz. (why does this keep happening?)
Another one of these. We seem to have lost Sara + Stephen.
Late nite ended with a trip to the one afterhour pizza place (read: packed). We took it To Go...
... back to the hotel's atrium (huh - a mall?). Special thanks to the late night security guard for letting us sneak in - apparently people will let you do whatever you want if you're with someone wearing a wedding dress.
"Follow me! Follow me to freedom!" (Whhhaaattt?? You've never seen that commercial?!?)
Oh, got to bed around 3am, which is perfect since I have a 7am flight to Boston! (ugh). Left the hotel at the perfectly-reasonable time of 5:30am.
Jumped on the JetBlue, took a 65 minute nap and had Dig pick me up in Boston. Normally I wouldn't have gone the extra 400 miles, but come'on, lobster cookout! (ps: the cookout was kind of post-wedding shower party for J + Jackie - btw, two weeks to the wedding!). Dad picked me up around 8am and we made the trek down to the harbor to pick up some lobsters.
The lobster store is actually this huge warehouse full of lthese ittle blue boxes stuffed with live (!!) lobsters. I figured they stocked a few dozen of these guys at a time (like the supermarket, right?) but it turns out...
... this place is like a lobster factory! They got this whole room with a swimming pool full of those blue boxes (all stuffed full of lobsters!) All the lobsters seem about the same size (one or two pounders) which kind of matched my expectations - I mean, that's how big lobsters get right?.
That's until the guy working (who had the thickest Boston accent ever) yells over to his friend: "HEY QUIGLEY! The kid wants to see the big ones!" (oh man, try it in your best, thickest Boston accent to get the full effect. Say it aloud!)
So I go into this separate room...
... where they've got these big tanks. And you have to kind of climb up on the tanks, which is sketchy because if you fall in, you'd fall into a tub full of...
... 30 pounders!!!! Holy shit! You know when you walk into a restaurant and they have that huge taxidermy lobster hanging over the cash register? I thought those lobsters were the type of came around once every 50 years (Perfect Storm style), but I guess these guys catch some every day - and when they do, they just chuck them into these big tubs.
As soon as this guy held this one up, I instantly went to check his fingers to see if he was still rolling with all 10. "Er, Would this guy take off a finger?" I asked. "Are you fahking kidding me? This guy would chap ya whole fahking arm aff!" And he goes on to tell me about friends getting their wrists snapped in two and people losing fingers left and right. And then he's all, "Watch your step on the way down..." (I'm about 3 feet up, balancing on the side of one of the tubs) "...cause you definitely don't want to take a bath with these guys!"
Anyway, so we picked up - what? 30 pound-and-a-halfers? That's a lot of lobsters. They put them all in a cardboard box that looks like this...
... and then they expect you to stick your fingers in the holes when you pick up the box! Are you kidding me?
"QUIGLEY!! Get a load of this kid! He's too fahking afraid to stick his fingahs in the bahx!"
So that's the end of that little adventure. We throw the lobsters in the back of Dig's brand new car (woooo - 5 series... er, which stinks of lobster juice) and head back to Medway... but not before stopping by Jimmy's - what was once Dig's go-to fancy seafood restaurant. The place has been *destroyed*! (condos? oh, renovating). Dig sheds some tears (actually, he was making a crying sound - to go along with the crying gesture you see her - when I snapped this pic. Me: "Dad, its a PHOTO! No sound!" Dad: "So?" Ha!)
And back to the house where Mom + Dad have this big tent set up outside. J + Jackie where already home for the weekend (bridal shower on Saturday, remember?) and the rest of the family rolled up later to eat a box full of lobsters.
Uncle Jr, not actually there, but there in spirit through the deliciousness of clams casino.
While Mom whipped up some delicious clam chowdah. That's Auntie Jean getting her bowl on.
All this was just a warm-up for the main event... lobster city! I carried that box up from the basement (not using the finger holes).
Get in there! All 34 of you! Dig only works with a half-pot of water ("you gotta steam 'em, not boil 'em"). And before this post sparks an army of cruelty complaints (er, it's happened before in the family), please do brush up on your crustacean physiology:
Q: Do lobsters really scream when you put them in boiling water? A: Absolutely not. They donít have vocal chords or any other means of vocalization. If thereís any noise at all when the lobster hits the pot, it might be air coming out of its stomach through its mouth parts.
Q: Do lobsters feel pain? A: Invertebrates have such primitive nervous systems (they have no brain and 100,000 neurons versus a humanís 100 billion) that they donít feel pain. A 2005 study financed by the Norwegian government reinforced this view.
Before we took off, my Mom challenged me to a game of "Name Those Toys I Found When Cleaning Out Grandma's Room". I'm actually the house champion of taking found objets and identifying them. Lemme put this on Flickr and we'll see how many you can name (play now!).
And that's pretty much it - me + J + Jackie + Megan + Caroline made the trek back late Sunday night in the rover. (Jay drove home, I flew back - remember?). While packing up I spied this collector's edition dodgeball sticker on Katie's jeep...
... ah, the sweet sweet memories of dot-com dreams!
Ugh, kind of a lot of miles for a not-long weekend, but hey, lobster cookouts are delicious!