Thursday July 20, 2006

summer out in montauk (ver. 2006) - part I

Back in the dot-com heydays of 2001 - after I got laid off from Vindigo and everyone else I knew got laid off from Jupiter - a bunch of us went in on a beach house out in Montauk (Montauk = the end of Long Island, as in past the Hamptons). We lived out in Ditch Plains, paying our NYC rent with our dot-com severence pay and living day-to-day at the beach on the $405/week we were picking up thanks to NY State unemployment. Anyway, Best. Summer. Ever.

And every summer since we've tried to pull it off again, but we've either been too lazy, too poor or too short on people. After bloghaus (don't ask... okay: ask) fell apart in late May, me + Grellan + Randy jumped in on a last-minute share with Lucas + Vipul + friends out in Amaganset (the town *before* Montauk).

(I'll try my bestest to spare you the drama of the summer share - what was supposed to be a 1/2 share turned into a 1/3 share and how everyhing ended up being more money + fewer beds than we bargained for.)

But anyway, this past weekend was our first (of five) weekends out. Hamptons traffic is the worst kind of traffic, so we all skipped out of work on Friday. And to balance out the five-dudes-at-the-beach-vibe, we brought Karen.M (a.k.a. Karen #1) and Karen.L (a.k.a. anything-but-Karen-#2) along for the ride.

It took me a good hour to figure out how to strap my brand new surfboard to the roof of the Hoverpod. Cheapo $55 rack (with a strap like the one on my messenger bag) had me stressed out that the board would end up crushed on the Long Island Expressway before it ever saw water.

ps: Board made it in one piece.... oh, and sorry Melissa, but no pics yet. I will have you know that I did repair both the ding on the nose and the tail successfull though. Randy, you got pics?

Traffic wasn't too too bad on the way out. We hit up the BK on the outskirts of the Hamptions (for reals, there is no fast food East of that Benz dealership on Rt. 27). Chicken Tenders(tm) that look like either chicken feet or fried chicken heads? Bad idea.

(fyi - I am Googling desperately to find that article that cites that McNuggets come in five shapes that were designed to look like what consumer thought were pieces of real chicken... but alas, all I can find is this article about some lady finding a fried chicken head in her batch of McNugs)

update: Sweet Sweet K (huh?) leaves a teendrama comment pointing to this article.

Three days on the beach = awesome. Me + Randy took the boards out on Friday (alas, no pics) when there was a little white water to mess around in I suck, btw... as in can't-even-stand-up-yet suck. But for someone that is (a) not a Strong Swimmer and (b) wicked scared of sharks eating me, I am doing okay with the whole paddle around / spin the board around / get one knee up when trying to catch a wave business. Next weekend for sure.

Note to self: Don't ever roll sleeves up like that again.

Grellan and his Jedi mind tricks recruited the ladies to bath him in SPF 8.

I spent a few hours struggling to finish Douglas Coupland's latest novel, J-Pod (a.k.a. one of the bigger pieces of shit books I have ever read). I'm no book critic, but 40 pages of random numbers (even if it is built into the story) = lame.

(Disclaimer: I liked Microserfs a lot, so I traded jPod to Randy for Eleanor Rigby)

And back at the house it's more nerds on laptops. (er, who's bringing the router next time?)

Despite the summer share drama, the house is pretty perfect. About 100 yards from the beach, sweet wrap around deck, a grill, a wall full of windows and a pretty good cross-breeze. In late August I'm going to try to spend two full weeks out there.

We stocked up on food a bunch of times. Here's Lucas rocking the "It's Better When It's Grilled" logo.

That's right. Family Pack, motherfucker!

Someone in the other 2/3 of the house, boobytrapped their leftover groceries with anti-theft devices jerry-rigged from twist ties. Danger!

Friday night grillfest in three round on a tiny grill.

Round 1: special DPSTYLES(tm) burgers and two boring Boca Burgers.

Round 2: local corn. (Hint: if you soak the corn in water first it cooks up real nice.)

ps: Anyone got the recipe for Cafe Habana corn? Or at least know what cheese they use?

update from Janelle: Cortija cheese. And mayo and paprika.

Round 3: Some mf'hot dogs. Lucas' hot dogs + avocado + cheese + jalapeno invention = brilliant.

Friday night = a game of Spoons (er, which led to 800 spilled drinks) turned into a game of Apples to Apples (Er, the worst game ever? Thanks Karen.L)...

It’s as easy as “comparing apples to apples”…just open the box, deal the cards, and you’re ready to play! Select the card from your hand that you think is best described by a card played by the judge. If the judge picks your card, you win that round. And everyone gets a chance to be the judge!

Each round is filled with surprising and outrageous comparisons from a wide range of people, places, things, and events. Fast moving and refreshing, Apples to Apples is perfect for any get-together with family and friends!

... which led to Apple to Apples cards being used as cues for an ad hoc version of Dance Party Charades.

Dance Party Charades = just like regular charades, but with interpretive / hip hop dance party moves. Here: Grellan's blurry Iggy Shuffle???

Here: the worst Dance Party Charades card you could ever expect to draw.

Friday nights are for experiments such as, "What happens with you replace the ice cubes in a Makers and Coke with vanilla ice cream?"

(Verdict: kind-of delicious.)

Saturday. Another day spent on the beach (, though water was too flat to take the boards out). We hit up the cougar-filled scene at Cyrill's around 4pm for $10 boat drinks.

Giant Vipul.

KL picked up a dead butterfly (er, which actually turned out to be alive) as we were crossing the highway. Luckily no flat tire this time. (2001!)

And then hit up Clam Bar down the road to load up on lobster rolls and other fried goods.

$15 and delicious. (Though still 2nd place to Arnolds in Eastham.)

Late night (and sorry in advance, man). Lucas using some World of Warcraft pickup lines on the ladies.

possibly overheard: "But, baby girl, I'm a Level 32 Night Elf!" video]

Sunday morning. Actually, let's give Lucas +2 points for whipping up the bestest breakfast burrito (fashioned from leftovers) that I've ever done seen.

Beach. There's a really weird break super close to shore that causes hugh waves to crash right where the water hits the sand. On Sunday we were seeing four / five foot waves - big enough to pick us (er, me) up and slam us into the ground (ouch). I'm seriously surprised that busloads of little kids weren't dragged our to sea. [video]

We hit up Clam Bar (again) before taking off on Sunday night. I went with the lobster roll (again). And clam chowder. And some corn. FD represent! [video]

ps: FD = Fat Denny.

Oh, the ride home. We left at 8pm hoping to beat the traffic (VT style). Alas, no such luck. We got stuck in Hamptons traffic + Long Island traffic + crazy construction traffic. Next weekend we'll shoot for the 10pm departure. (Exciting!)

Thu 7/20 @ 1:32 PM | # link| Comments (4)
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